How to Run Your Race and Avoid the Comparison Trap
Are you caught up in trying to do it like everyone else, feeling the pressure to run someone else’s race? Does it leave you frustrated, discouraged, and in despair? Ever feel like everyone else is sprinting ahead, and you’re just trying to keep up? It’s easy to look around and think you should be running their race, doing what everyone else is doing.
Learn How to run your race and avoid the comparison trap and discover your unique gifts and passions so you can step confidently into the calling God has placed on your life.
It’s human nature to know how we stack up with others. Competition can inspire and motivate us to give our best, give us more energy, grow, and ultimately even become a better person. But it can steal the joy from just enjoying your own journey and the experiences you’re having.
Wondering How to run your race and avoid the comparison trap? I will share the practical tools you can use to break free from the comparison trap and embrace your own journey.
In this post, you’ll learn how to let go of comparison and embrace a path that’s truly yours, using the R.A.C.E. framework—Reflect, Assess, Confide, and Engage—to uncover what makes you special and start moving forward with purpose.
We all have our own races to run and God wants us to run with perseverance, keeping our eyes on the prize.
The Power of Discovering your unique gifts and passions
I want to share a bit of my own story with you. For a long time, I didn’t think I had anything unique to offer. Like many of you, I juggled all the responsibilities of being a mom, wife, and coach, but I didn’t recognize my own gifts.
It was through running, coaching, and, honestly, just listening to what came naturally to me that I started to see where God had equipped me in unique ways.
I invite you to think about this for yourself. What if you’re already equipped with God-given strengths and talents, and you just need to recognize them? When you know how unique you are and the purpose God has for you it will help you overcome comparisons.
Many of us, especially busy moms, get so wrapped up in caring for others that we forget to explore our own strengths, passions, and unique journeys. We often feel hesitant, maybe even unqualified, to pursue our own interests. It’s easy to feel that discovering a purpose or calling is something that happens to other people.
But here’s the truth: God has given each of us gifts and talents for a reason. Romans 12:6-8 reminds us that we each have unique gifts meant to serve others, and through them, we can glorify Him. Imagine what your life could look like if you embraced those gifts and used them to impact the world around you.
Here’s a reflective question for you: “What’s one gift or passion God has placed on your heart that you could start exploring today?” I’d love for you to take a few moments to pray or journal about this, asking God to guide you as you step into your unique calling.
Why you need to avoid the Comparison Trap
We may think comparisons, external pressures, and jealousy ended in high school but social media feeds have fueled the comparison trap. It’s important though to remember that you never truly see the whole story there so you may be comparing yourself to someone’s highlights.
The comparison mode destroys destinies. Instead of complementing and helping each other, we compete and it breeds negative feelings such as jealousy.
When you constantly compare yourself with others you’ll always fall short. You’ll spend much time being pulled in every direction. Comparisons will slow you down and delay the time it takes to reach your goals and dreams.
As someone in the running community, I know that the majority of runners have a competitive nature. While healthy competition is good, it’s more important to go at your own pace.
It’s easy for competition to turn into a comparison trap and become a big problem. We compare ourselves to others and our past performances as well.
Comparing yourself makes you measure your own progress based on what other people have achieved which is not a true picture of the situation.
For example, the running ability and unique gift that Usain Bolt has and the awe of his tenacity can’t be matched. While professional athletes are good role models to have, you can’t compare yourself to them because you’ll likely always fall short.
Using someone else’s accomplishments as a means of measurement for your own performance and achievements often leads to disappointment. What makes Usain Bolt better than you may be things you can’t control. Like genetics, his background, or natural talent.
So comparing yourself to him will lead to low self-esteem, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy which decrease your motivation and can ultimately affect your mental health. You no longer feel the need to celebrate your wins even when you have great achievements. This makes comparison such a dangerous habit.
Theodore “Teddy” Roosevelt once said “Comparison is the thief of joy.” and he was right.
Instead of focusing on your purpose, you end up focusing on other people which means your focus will no longer be in the right place.
When you’re going after big scary goals and dreams you need the right perspective. You have other accomplishments from your past. You can use that as the strength you need to look forward to the future with the expectation of success.
When you become consumed by what others are doing and what others are thinking, you tend to forget the most important person – yourself.
Remember we’re all running our own races so you need to put your blinders on and focus on your own lane and the finish line.
As a runner when you use a social feed to compare your performance to others, it can lead to compulsive tendencies which is shown by having intense focus, burnout, injuries, and rigid routines. You may end up running faster or further than is recommended to keep up with your competitors and get more likes and comments. This can result in injury and higher stress levels.
When you’re entering a race, remember this year’s experience will not be the same as what you had last year. The conditions on race day might be different and you might be in a different place mentally and physically too. What happened previously can help with preparation but you can’t predict or control what will happen so it helps just to treat it as a brand-new experience.
Ultimately you need to be motivated by the process and not just the results and find joy in the journey to your goals. The reality is focusing only on results leads to feelings of inadequacy, discouragement, and despair.
Explore, meet new people, learn from their experiences, know yourself better, and acquire important life lessons.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”’
Hebrews 12:1:
This verse reminds us to run our own unique races for a prize that’s marked for us. Don’t quit on your goals, persevere to the very end, looking to others as inspiration and motivation and you’ll receive your special crown from God one day.
Lastly, when you compare yourself to others you end up being a distorted version of who God uniquely created you to be. You lose sight of your originality yet your uniqueness is what makes you truly special.
How to run your race and avoid the comparison trap (The R.A.C.E. Framework)
While it’s human nature to compare your family, life, body, or marriage with those of others, God didn’t design us all to run the same race.
It’s important to discover your unique gifts and passions so you can run your race—one that’s meant just for you, without all the noise of comparison or the pressure to follow someone else’s path.
We’re going to dive into a framework I like to call R.A.C.E. – Reflect, Assess, Confide, and Engage – to guide you toward discovering and using your gifts so that you can run YOUR own race.
R – Reflect on Your Gifts
“Have you ever wondered what unique gifts God has given you? Maybe you see others who seem to know exactly what they’re meant to do, but you’re still searching.
The first step is to take time and reflect. I want you to ask yourself a simple question: “What comes naturally to me?” Sometimes, our gifts seem so ordinary to us that we don’t even recognize them as strengths. But what’s easy and takes little effort for you might be extraordinary to someone else.
For me, I realized that coaching and motivating others came naturally. I initially thought, “Doesn’t everyone feel this way?” But God showed me that my ability to encourage others was something He specifically put inside me. Reflect on what comes easily to you; it might be something that doesn’t come naturally to others.
Actionable Takeaway: Write down 2-3 things that you find easy or enjoyable in your own life. It could be something you don’t struggle with that others often comment on or appreciate. Think about how you can use these strengths to bless others around you.
Now that we’ve reflected on what we’re good at, let’s explore what fires us up.
A – Assess Your Passions
Every human being has passions. It’s those things that make us come alive. It’s what energizes you, even when it’s challenging. They move out of your comfort zone so that you find meaning, excitement, and fulfillment in life.
It’s a beautiful thing to watch someone do what they’re passionate about. They are on their own path and what they do doesn’t feel like hard work and doesn’t come with a lot of effort for them.
For me, coaching is the very thing that lights me up – yes, I get those nervous butterflies, but once I’m in it, I think, “This is what I was made to do!” Running marathons is the same way. It’s hard, but it’s something I feel called to pursue.
Ask yourself a simple question, “What are the things you do that make time fly?” It could be painting, teaching, planning, or organizing. Often, our passions reveal a lot about our calling. At times we lose our passion and we need to fan them into flame again.
Understanding our gifts and passions is not just about personal fulfillment – it’s a way to glorify God by using what He’s placed in us to serve others.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.” God has prepared us with everything we need to make an impact right where we are.
Actionable Takeaway: One of the best ways to discover your passion is to take a few moments to reflect on what you get lost in or what brings you joy, even when you have personal struggles. Write down two of those passions and start thinking about ways you can incorporate them into your life.
Now that you’ve reflected on your strengths and passions, it’s time to bring them to God.
C – Confide in God
We can’t fully understand or use our gifts without seeking God’s guidance. Confiding in God means coming to Him with our gifts and passions and asking Him to reveal His plan for us.
Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and He will make our paths straight. When we bring our gifts to Him, we can trust He’ll show us how to use them.
For me, this meant praying over my coaching and asking God how I could serve Him and others through it. It’s a process of surrender and trust, but it’s essential. God will help you run your own race in life and actually win it.
Actionable Takeaway: Take a few moments to pray, asking God to reveal how He wants you to use your gifts and passions. Trust that He will guide you and show you how to move forward with confidence.
After we seek God’s guidance, the next step is to take action.
E – Engage and Take Action
Finally, we come to “Engage.” Once we understand our gifts and passions and have prayed over them, it’s time to put them into action. God calls us not just to understand our gifts but to use them on a daily basis. Engaging means stepping out in faith, even if you don’t feel completely ready.
Taking action on your gifts strengthens your faith, helps you grow, and often leads to even more clarity. When I started coaching, it wasn’t perfect, and I had to do some hard things and put in a good effort but each step brought me closer to my purpose.
Actionable Takeaway: Choose one small, actionable step you can take this week to start engaging with your gifts. It could be as simple as offering to help a friend with something you’re good at or volunteering to share your passion with others.
By taking these steps, we’re actively avoiding the comparison trap running the race God has set for us.
You have special God-given gifts and passions God has given you. When you discover these you can avoid the comparison trap and step confidently into your purpose.
When you don’t appreciate how unique you are, you can get caught up in the comparison trap. This leads to negative feelings such as low self-esteem, discouragement, despair, and insecurity, decreases your motivation, and ultimately affects your mental health.
To learn How to run your race and avoid the comparison trap, you can use the R.A.C.E. framework. It includes Reflecting on your strengths and what comes naturally, Assessing what lights you up and brings you joy, Confiding in God, seeking His guidance on how to use your gifts, and Engaging by taking actionable steps forward.
We are not called to compete but rather complement each other. Don’t be sidetracked by comparisons. Rather put your blinders on and run with perseverance the race God marked specifically only for you.
And if you’re looking for more accountability and support, consider joining our Red Hot Accountability Club, where we come together to pursue our goals in a community that’s rooted in faith.
This is where we encourage each other, keep each other on track, and celebrate even the small wins together. You don’t have to do this alone. Learn more and join us at redhotmindset.com/rha
Find community and coaching support inside the group coaching membership so you can lean on others and be inspired to continue working on your goals in the season you’re in with the capacity you have – ditching the stress and hustle altogether! (and ditching social media for business if you want to!)
You CAN work your goals into your lifestyle without sacrificing everything to achieve them.
If you are looking for a positive online community and group coaching experience, come hang out with us in the Red Hot Accountability Club!